R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

[bathymetric]

Hello and welcome to the...



UNKNOWN SEAS R2
TEST DRIVE MEME

Glad to have you aboard! Gone are the musty old dark tones and anxieties of that creepy underwater facility from the first round - welcome to the lap of luxury on your very own Atlantic Cruise. And we mean your very own, too - there's nobody else aboard! Well, except for the Captain, who broke the news to you when you got up about what you have to do here.

The facilities are all top of the line, even if for some reason you just can't seem to get to the other floors of the ship just yet - there's a gym, a pool, a buffet- wait, scratch that, looks like you're on one of our liners lucky enough to have a tie-in deal with Jimmy Buffett himself, which means you get access to all you can eat at the on-board Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville's Jimmy Buffet!

So make the most of your time! Maybe even get a spooky souvenir from somewhere in the B̴͖̈́e̷̟̊̀ṛ̴̩̑̉m̴̺̪̈̈́u̵̧͛̇d̶̗̱̀̔a̸̧̙͗͝ ̶͖̖͑̚T̴̤͝r̷̩͘i̶̟͎͗̈́a̴͍͗̐n̵̥̆͝g̵̮̳͘l̷͔͑ḛ̸̹͒͗ while you're here.

1. Arise from the depths (of sleep)

Hey, you! You're finally awake! Welcome to your modest accommodations aboard... some kind of cruise ship? Look, there aren't exactly a lot of great accommodations offered aboard cruise ships, you get what you get. There's a bed, there's a little desk, there's a vase of flowers... and a beautiful view of the ocean outside your window!

Hope this isn't, like, wildly different and strange compared to where you just were! Oh, also the whole boat is all decked out for New Year's.

2. Room for all kinds of activities!

If you head out to the decks, or just walk around the ship, there's all kinds of things to see here while you wait for the bodies to start dropping! Feel free to make up whatever facilities you like, gyms or shuffleboard courts or even libraries - the Margaritaville buffet is canon, though. That's your canon food option. Hope you like shrimp!

3. Son of a son of a motive

Another Tuesday, another sealed envelope full of fun! Is this finally something worth killing for to get off this boat? Or is it just something stupid and/or embarrassing? Better ask around!

4. A good friend returns

On one of the decks, next to some regular beverage and food vending machines, is... an unmarked one? It only takes these weird coins that sometimes show up in your rooms at night. Sometimes it gives you things from back home! Sometimes it gives you? Little creepy wooden puppets??

5. Wasting away again in... well, a murder

Oh no! Someone is dead! Did you kill them? Are you trying to get the word out? Did you find the body and really need to calm down? Live your dreams, kill who you wanna kill offscreen!

6. Anything else!

There's all kinds of things you might be doing on a boat like this! Don't feel constrained by the options here - live your murderboat dreams!

Comments

[sivard]

[Zaveid, naturally, looks affronted at the very idea that somebody would be interested in acting on such an untrue motive.]

Nobody, I would hope! There are too many intelligent folks here to actually believe something like this is true.

[scythegun]

Intelligence doesn't always go hand-in-hand with common sense, does it?

[he is absolutely not talking about anyone specifically here, nope!!!!]

Besides, you know what happens when people feel desperate. No matter how obvious a trap it is, someone will inevitably fall for it, simply because they can't take the chance that it isn't a trap. That circular thinking is quite common, you know!

[sivard]

You'd think...!

[But he cuts himself off, fuming, because he can't actually argue with it.]

I've had enough of people being manipulated to last me a malak's lifetime.

[scythegun]

That's unfortunately how things are going to go here. Until someone finds a way to put a stop to the Captain, we're simply going to have to play along - whether that's in giving in and killing for a motive that may not even be real, or playing detective for the Captain's amusement.

[He shrugs, like it really is that simple.]

There isn't anything else we can do, is there?

[sivard]

I think I preferred the Shepherd's version of ruining people's lives.

[Ugh.]

If I'm able to find the Captain...

[scythegun]

You'll stop him from doing anything like this again? A noble goal, certainly, but undoubtedly one he's prepared for.

[In other words, there's no way we're going to get a shot at him anytime soon.]

But perhaps it's best to focus on something else for a bit, ja? Tell me about the Shepherd.

[sivard]

Undoubtedly. Anyone who would come close to where he's locked himself away is probably going to be killed.

[Zaveid's done his no killing speech to death at this point. Fighting is one thing, but pointlessly getting himself or other people killed...?]

What do you want to know about him? There are some details I don't know, but I can probably answer most questions you have.

[scythegun]

[At least you've got some sense there, Zaveid! The topic shift is likely the best way to go at this point, though.]

Who is he, exactly? "The Shepherd" is an interesting title, ja?

[sivard]

The humans called him their savior or something like that, the one who would lead them away from malevolence.

All he did was nearly end the world because despite claiming to be free of it, he was steeped in it.

I can't exactly say I understand that sort of arrogance.

[At least the Captain is just torturing people for fun. Sheesh.]

[scythegun]

The idea of a "savior of the world" alone is a bit arrogant, isn't it? Some people really are entirely too self-centered and should never have gained power in the first place.

[This is almost insightful until you remember it also very definitely applies to Yeager as well.]

That's humans for you, though! We're all dreadfully flawed beings!

[sivard]

[But you get him, though!!!!]

That's not to say a malak can't be a dick; there are some of us who live long enough they stop thinking of humans as people worth paying attention to.

[Which is definitely a sign that Zaveid is very, very interested in humans. Huh!]

But the Shepherd and his ilk were the ones enslaving people. Not just my kind; humans too.

[scythegun]

Can't say I'm surprised; if you're going to all that effort to gather power, why not go all the way? People certainly can get greedy like that...

[But that gets another shrug. So it goes!]

Here's hoping a band of plucky protagonists will show up to overthrow the Shepherd and put an end to all that nonsense, though~!

[sivard]

[That? That gets him to laugh.]

Ha! I think Eizen would be offended hearing himself referred to as a "plucky protagonist!"

The group succeeded, though I've never really asked Eizen the details— he's never wanted to talk much about what happened.

Velvet was the leader, and she was out for Artorius' blood.

[yeeeah noble protags they were not.]

[scythegun]

Oh really? I wouldn't have expected them to be so bloodthirsty...

[...Okay, well plucky protagonist Yuri Lowell is pretty bloodthirsty, but he's not specifically out to kill people until they prove they're awful, so there's that??]

You weren't with them, though?

[no offense zaveid but you absolutely seem like a plucky protag.]

[sivard]

I wasn't, no. We didn't exactly see eye-to-eye.

[He is absolutely a plucky protagonist.]

Mowing down people down isn't exactly my idea of a job well done.

[scythegun]

[Ahhh, so you're the plucky protag and they're the assholes who get shit done, got it.]

I imagine it would be rather difficult to work with them, then...

[sivard]

We helped each other out from time to time, but it wasn't often.

Eizen was one of them. We didn't exactly get along the first time we met. Or the second.

[scythegun]

Oh dear. What changed, then? If you don't mind me asking, of course!

[sivard]

We came to an understanding, after he learned I was saved by the captain of his ship.