R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

[bathymetric]

Hello and welcome to the...



UNKNOWN SEAS R2
TEST DRIVE MEME

Glad to have you aboard! Gone are the musty old dark tones and anxieties of that creepy underwater facility from the first round - welcome to the lap of luxury on your very own Atlantic Cruise. And we mean your very own, too - there's nobody else aboard! Well, except for the Captain, who broke the news to you when you got up about what you have to do here.

The facilities are all top of the line, even if for some reason you just can't seem to get to the other floors of the ship just yet - there's a gym, a pool, a buffet- wait, scratch that, looks like you're on one of our liners lucky enough to have a tie-in deal with Jimmy Buffett himself, which means you get access to all you can eat at the on-board Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville's Jimmy Buffet!

So make the most of your time! Maybe even get a spooky souvenir from somewhere in the B̴͖̈́e̷̟̊̀ṛ̴̩̑̉m̴̺̪̈̈́u̵̧͛̇d̶̗̱̀̔a̸̧̙͗͝ ̶͖̖͑̚T̴̤͝r̷̩͘i̶̟͎͗̈́a̴͍͗̐n̵̥̆͝g̵̮̳͘l̷͔͑ḛ̸̹͒͗ while you're here.

1. Arise from the depths (of sleep)

Hey, you! You're finally awake! Welcome to your modest accommodations aboard... some kind of cruise ship? Look, there aren't exactly a lot of great accommodations offered aboard cruise ships, you get what you get. There's a bed, there's a little desk, there's a vase of flowers... and a beautiful view of the ocean outside your window!

Hope this isn't, like, wildly different and strange compared to where you just were! Oh, also the whole boat is all decked out for New Year's.

2. Room for all kinds of activities!

If you head out to the decks, or just walk around the ship, there's all kinds of things to see here while you wait for the bodies to start dropping! Feel free to make up whatever facilities you like, gyms or shuffleboard courts or even libraries - the Margaritaville buffet is canon, though. That's your canon food option. Hope you like shrimp!

3. Son of a son of a motive

Another Tuesday, another sealed envelope full of fun! Is this finally something worth killing for to get off this boat? Or is it just something stupid and/or embarrassing? Better ask around!

4. A good friend returns

On one of the decks, next to some regular beverage and food vending machines, is... an unmarked one? It only takes these weird coins that sometimes show up in your rooms at night. Sometimes it gives you things from back home! Sometimes it gives you? Little creepy wooden puppets??

5. Wasting away again in... well, a murder

Oh no! Someone is dead! Did you kill them? Are you trying to get the word out? Did you find the body and really need to calm down? Live your dreams, kill who you wanna kill offscreen!

6. Anything else!

There's all kinds of things you might be doing on a boat like this! Don't feel constrained by the options here - live your murderboat dreams!

Comments

[paucipan]

Well, if you know about this, it'll obviously be far more useful to you, mortal.

[...Plumeria can you not sound so haughty, christ--]

Go on, take some of it. It's not like I need it anyway. Honestly, I don't even know what any of this is doing in here in the first place.

[onlyyoucan]

I don't really need it either.

[She says as she looks over an IKEA nightstand.]

Why do they send us all this stuff...

[paucipan]

Your guess is as good as mine.

[Plumeria rolls her eyes a bit, starting to plunk a few more coins into the machine.]

But I suppose we don't have anything more useful we can do with these coins than spend them.

[onlyyoucan]

Sometimes there are useful things in there. Still... [She watches Plumeria plug coins in.] Are you looking for something specific?

[paucipan]

[Hmm...]

I don't know, just--something that's not any of this? I would like to find something that would make dealing with all of this a little more bearable, or just...something that might please Lady Freyja, but this machine has seen it fit to give me nothing but junk.

Really, it's all too tempting to upend it entirely until it does.

[plum you're not NEARLY powerful enough for that]

[onlyyoucan]

Right... You work for her, right? You're from the same place. Though I'm not sure about shaking out the machine.

[paucipan]

[Plumeria looks directly at Sara when she says that much, her look taking on a surprisingly serious expression.]

...To say that I simply work for Lady Freyja is an understatement; I wouldn't be anything without her. I serve her every need, no matter how small, and I do so gladly.

[...]

But okay, what's so bad about shaking this awful machine? Enlighten me.

[onlyyoucan]

For one, shaking a vending machine is hazardous. You could topple it and crush yourself. It's also not likely to get you anything good, either.