unknown_oosea | R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

Hello and welcome to the...

UNKNOWN SEAS R2
TEST DRIVE MEME

Glad to have you aboard! Gone are the musty old dark tones and anxieties of that creepy underwater facility from the first round - welcome to the lap of luxury on your very own Atlantic Cruise. And we mean your very own, too - there's nobody else aboard! Well, except for the Captain, who broke the news to you when you got up about what you have to do here.

The facilities are all top of the line, even if for some reason you just can't seem to get to the other floors of the ship just yet - there's a gym, a pool, a buffet- wait, scratch that, looks like you're on one of our liners lucky enough to have a tie-in deal with Jimmy Buffett himself, which means you get access to all you can eat at the on-board Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville's Jimmy Buffet!

So make the most of your time! Maybe even get a spooky souvenir from somewhere in the B̴͖̈́e̷̟̊̀ṛ̴̩̑̉m̴̺̪̈̈́u̵̧͛̇d̶̗̱̀̔a̸̧̙͗͝ ̶͖̖͑̚T̴̤͝r̷̩͘i̶̟͎͗̈́a̴͍͗̐n̵̥̆͝g̵̮̳͘l̷͔͑ḛ̸̹͒͗ while you're here.

1. Arise from the depths (of sleep)

Hey, you! You're finally awake! Welcome to your modest accommodations aboard... some kind of cruise ship? Look, there aren't exactly a lot of great accommodations offered aboard cruise ships, you get what you get. There's a bed, there's a little desk, there's a vase of flowers... and a beautiful view of the ocean outside your window!

Hope this isn't, like, wildly different and strange compared to where you just were! Oh, also the whole boat is all decked out for New Year's.

2. Room for all kinds of activities!

If you head out to the decks, or just walk around the ship, there's all kinds of things to see here while you wait for the bodies to start dropping! Feel free to make up whatever facilities you like, gyms or shuffleboard courts or even libraries - the Margaritaville buffet is canon, though. That's your canon food option. Hope you like shrimp!

3. Son of a son of a motive

Another Tuesday, another sealed envelope full of fun! Is this finally something worth killing for to get off this boat? Or is it just something stupid and/or embarrassing? Better ask around!

4. A good friend returns

On one of the decks, next to some regular beverage and food vending machines, is... an unmarked one? It only takes these weird coins that sometimes show up in your rooms at night. Sometimes it gives you things from back home! Sometimes it gives you? Little creepy wooden puppets??

5. Wasting away again in... well, a murder

Oh no! Someone is dead! Did you kill them? Are you trying to get the word out? Did you find the body and really need to calm down? Live your dreams, kill who you wanna kill offscreen!

6. Anything else!

There's all kinds of things you might be doing on a boat like this! Don't feel constrained by the options here - live your murderboat dreams!

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[... You know, Luigi feels like he should be more worried about this, but a nice cruise? He can hardly remember the last time he's been on one!

He wanders around and admires the scenery until he sees Scorpia and he feels his heart stop.

Oh gee, that's a big scary lady with even bigger, scarier claws. Ok, if he just slowly backs away and pretend that he doesn't see her, maybe-

... And she's talking to him. He flinches, expecting the worst, until it hits him that she doesn't seem all that threatening. He hopes desperately that she doesn't randomly decide to attack him as he responds.]

W-wait, this is an undercover mission? Why would we need to be undercover on a cruise? It doesn't look like Bowser's here or anything.

[Unless he somehow blocked the memory of Bowser taking over a cruise.

Which... maybe isn't too outlandish, now that he thinks about it.]

[The idea of the mortal world has always been quite nauseating for Plumeria; it's home to humans, after all, and they really can't help but taint everything that they touch. Even a ship like this, so far from humanity entirely, is utterly based in their stupid desires. It's likely no surprise that Plumeria has wanted to stay away from these creatures, and besides, it's not like she needed anyone other than Lady Freyja.

It's what makes Plumeria seek her lady out--ah, the deck. A lovely place, really, and it seems like she's...quite...busy...

...Plumeria is honestly not sure what to make of this, honestly--is she cross? It would certainly make sense if she was, with everything considered, but--]

Lady Freyja? You have my apologies for disturbing you, but...is everything alright?

[...You're kind of tossing those with an intensity Triandra would give praise for, does Plumeria need to kick someone's ass--]

Name: Plumeria | Lewd Dream
Age: ??? | Species: Dökkálfr. | Occupation: Servant to the Queen of Dökkálfheimr.
Likes: Unconditional love, mortal desires, heroism, Lady Freyja.
Dislikes: Wells, mortal desires, repulsive mortals.
Trivia: Plumeria has long wished to become a hero, so that she could make her mother proud.

II.

[Plumeria isn't exactly one for good first impressions; that much is likely obvious as the days go by, her dour demeanor known to pretty much anyone who's talked to her for more than a second at a time. She's quite prickly, and being on a ship with a bunch of mortals certainly hasn't helped her mood in the slightest. Even at her best, she seems to keep everyone at arms length, distrustful of most everything here.

Most everything, of course, does not extend to the buffet table. As much as Plumeria tries to deny it, even she's a slave to more...mortal desires. And more mortal desires, in this case, is enough variety in sweets to make Plumeria's inner child light up like the decorative lights on this cruise ship. But there is one thing that's managed to capture her interest rather effectively, and Plumeria can hardly believe what she's seeing.

A fountain. A fountain that's shooting up chocolate, like something a Ljósálfr would give to a child in their sweetest of dreams, and Plumeria seems utterly entranced by it, wings fluttering of their own accord as she places a piece of strawberry on a stick and dip it into the chocolate, before taking it out and biting it and--]

Oh-- [Well, she's pleased. She's just going to get that swallowed down.] Well, it seems that there's one good thing on this ship.

[...She may be walking around the table a bit, looking around a bit to...oh god someone please stop her, she's absolutely going to try and take it for herself if not stopped--]

III.

[Secrets aren't something that Plumeria is usually all too perturbed by, really. She's the fairy that sees the most secret and salacious dreams of mortals; any kind of secret that they could take from her would only serve to make her laugh, Plumeria thought. Mortals were always so horribly base about such things, and yet...

Plumeria opens up her envelope easily, rolling her eyes before she reads the secret in question, and oh, her tune changes fast.]

...And here I thought you mortals were horrific as it is, but this is--

[Plumeria crushes the piece of paper in her hands, the almost cruel smirk on her face only barely hiding the fury that's building underneath. Whatever her secret is, she's fucking pissed that they've brought it to the surface as she storms off.]

IV.

[The sole reason that Plumeria is at this machine is to get rid of these stupid coins that keep popping up in her room, really, and try as she might to get something useful out of these machines, it always seems to be the same various knick knacks and other horrible items that plague her. Nothing useful for her, but...

Well, you might just be walking into the room at the same time, and though it's with Plumeria's usual coldness, she does call out to you.]

Hey, come here for a moment. [Yes, that means you.] I've no use for any of this; come and take some of it off of my hands.

[...It. It doesn't sound like she's giving you an option, but it's free stuff??? Maybe it'll be worth it. Only you can choose your fate.]

VI.

[Wanna do something else? Hit me up at

cityescape if you'd like!]

...

[Sara raises her eyebrows and looks over the pile... okay?]

Build-it-yourself furniture... hot sauce... ancient board games?

[ Risotto couldn't help but take notice of the small changes in her expression, in her demeanor, and posture. Did he surprise her? Or did his words come across as slightly unacceptable? Or perhaps she was gearing up to ensure she seemed like someone who should be respected. Those who lead or command never want to seem like less than that, after all.

...And right now, said 'goddess' had been holding a stuffed animal of all things. Not that he cared to think less of someone for doing that. There was Pesci, after all, who had been an assassin, and yet he was seen doing things that were not assassin-like. Didn't make him less of a threat were he to get serious. Underestimation is a fool's mistake. ]

The álfar? I've never heard of the word.

[ ... ]

But you're correct in that people find comfort in holding those sort of things. Though, it's not to just the young, one of the children among us will likely appreciate it all the same. In the meanwhile, I'm sure you can hang onto it. Or...will you linger in here, waiting for someone to come and take it from you?

Truth be told, I had hoped to return to my room for more coins, now that I'm aware of their purpose. I didn't want to simply carry the lot.

[It's not a huge inconvenience, but she wasn't particularly in the mood to just be jingling around the ship.]

The toy can come along for now. Will you accompany me, mortal? Or do you have other business to attend to?

[It's a little formally stated, but she doesn't seem bothered either way; come with her or don't, your choice.]

[Oh, Plumeria...

She doesn't look embarrassed about the activity, though she does pause after the latest goes sailing into the pool; she does look over, however, none of the intensity quite leaving her face.]

All is well, Plumeria. Not ideal, but things aren't going poorly.

[No one's dead yet, somehow?]

This vessel is...strange. Designed to celebrate sloth and excess in every way. Truly something created by mortals; I cannot imagine something like this coming to pass even in Ljósálfheimr.

[That doesn't make it sound better ngl]

The point is, I did not need my failures recounted yet again, and in such a stressful place! It is needlessly cruel in an already cruel situation.

[She would grumble internally if she was in better spirits - she's seen bodies before, she can assess wounds - but if Risotto wants to get his hands dirty here, he's more than welcome to it.]

Gladly.

[Time to go look glumly at blood splatters.]

-!

[She jerks back! Holds the case to her chest!]

Can I help you, Mister Valmont?

[Age: 36 | Species: Human (mostly) | Occupation: General and Tactician of the Kingdom of Heliodor
Likes: Hendrik, power, sweets, most animals
Dislikes: Hendrik, rats, being left behind
Traits: Aloof, calculating, resentful
Trivia: Jasper designed matching, color-coded sets of armor for himself and fellow general Hendrik.

...Jasper's definitely quirking an eyebrow at Flayn's particular choice of food. On the one hand, he's fine with seafood, but on the other...]

I do not think anyone needs quite that much shrimp in their entire life.

[...he says, with a plate stacked high with offerings from the dessert end of the buffet...]

Edited 2020-12-12 01:52 (UTC)

They seem to also be able to provide interesting trinkets or other useful items. Though, there's the chance to receive some sort of nonsensical item.

[ He wouldn't exactly count a 'stuffed toy' as nonsensical.

That said, Risotto wasn't looking to become a master of puppets here even if the machine seemed to have liked giving him quite a few of those a little while ago. They were currently sitting in his room, ready to unnerve some unfortunate fellow who had the rare honor of seeing such things.

Either way, he had no interest in ending their conversation just there, and so he decided he'll wait for her to go the way she will; once the goddess starts walking, he will follow. ]

...I'll join you for now. Thanks to our unique situation, I have far more downtime than to know what to do with at times. I'm sure you understand. Even if I can't claim to know what the schedule of a Goddess would be like, on account of never having met one before now.

[ As Risotto was examining the body of the dead man, he had to wonder...what kind of expression was the man making when he died...?

...

Anyway.

The blood splatters seem to start from one end of the room over to the body. It seems the poor dude got himself injured real bad right in this very place. ]

When you're done, we'll report our findings to each other. If there's anything that requires my attention for whatever reason—though I'd doubt that would be the case—don't hesitate to bring it up.

[ Risotto said this casually while pulling a knife from the man's neck, a little lovely mess resulting from doing so...but they'll need it as evidence, so. ]

Well, if you know about this, it'll obviously be far more useful to you, mortal.

[...Plumeria can you not sound so haughty, christ--]

Go on, take some of it. It's not like I need it anyway. Honestly, I don't even know what any of this is doing in here in the first place.

[Well, that's good at least. Plumeria will walk closer then; her lady isn't wrong, after all. Somehow these stupid mortals haven't gone and killed each other yet, and it really is some kind of miracle.

But oh, Plumeria finds a smile creeping onto her lips as her lady talks about the vessel; she's certainly not wrong, at any rate.]

Oh, but of course. Even those in Ljósálfheimr have more standards than these vulgar mortals; really, I'm not surprised that they would create something so horribly indulgent. It's every bit as sickening as they are in general...

[Plumeria, as always, is not holding back. Fuck these mortals, purely figuratively.]

I can't believe they expect us to stand for this.

I don't really need it either.

[She says as she looks over an IKEA nightstand.]

Why do they send us all this stuff...

Emily!

[Sara rushes over to -- is she talking to him, his name is definitely not Emily. She stumbles to a stop and looks over the doll, face going from panic into a disappointed lineface.]

...What's that?

[Well, that decides things, doesn't it?

She'll set off easily enough; she sort of hates the motion of the ship but it's something she's become adjusted to, and as such she'll set about wandering back towards the group's quarters, continuing to hold the otter close as she does so.]

You said you were unfamiliar with the álfar - we are beings of dreams, far removed from the waking world and its concept of reality. I'm...unsurprised that you have never met one with a status so high above your own; we do try not to interfere. But sometimes those that are of the world cry out; we hear you, and we tend to you, even if you remain unaware.

Such things have their time. Simply not always in a way that those of this world might find preferable or convenient.

[So like. Goddesses gonna goddess, just not necessarily in a way you might like.]

And yet they do expect it. In their arrogance and pride, this is something that they've done to us.

[She doesn't know how Freyr stands any of them, honestly, much less...

Anyway.]

You would bring him torment, I imagine. The Captain.

Your guess is as good as mine.

[Plumeria rolls her eyes a bit, starting to plunk a few more coins into the machine.]

But I suppose we don't have anything more useful we can do with these coins than spend them.

[It probably isn't a surprise that it's Hubert who shows up soon enough, studying both Freyja and the body in silence for a moment before she speaks up.]

It is. I take it you weren't expecting it to be quite like this?

[The words are straightforward; blunt, but not entirely cold. He moves forward then, sweeping his cape out of the way so he doesn't end up getting it as bloody as her dress is going to be if she continues crouching here, and begins his examination of the corpse. That certainly is a nasty head wound, and would require quite some strength to pull off...]

You found them just like this?

[Plumeria's certainly not going to disagree with any of that. It's disgusting, really.

...But there's something of a gleam in Plumeria's eyes as Freyja says that much.]

Oh, but of course. His deplorable actions cannot go unpunished. [Her tone definitely implies that she's at least been thinking of doing exactly that. Not that Plumeria's been idle, but...] Do you have orders for me, Lady Freyja? I will gladly carry them out, if so.

[She is here to make the Captain's life a living Hel (heh) if Freyja asks. And...let's be real, even if she doesn't, but if it means approval--]

You certainly can! By giving me those talismans!

[ Normally Valmont at least tries to keep up a veneer of (snarky) civility around the other passengers. But normally the other passengers don't have the temerity to be clutching what should by all rights be his. And no, it doesn't make any difference that Flayn appears physically to be a teenage girl. He's stolen from younger. But he leaves off the grabby hands for now, at least - maybe she can simply be persuaded. ]

[A hostage motive. It had to be a hostage motive.

Not that Hubert's particularly surprised, of course. What better way to get people to kill than to threaten their loved ones? Many of the people gathered here are having visible reactions to it, and even Hubert's looking far more irritated than usual, even though he hasn't bothered opening his envelope. There could only be one person inside, after all.

Surprisingly, Sylvando snaps too. Of everyone here, Hubert was expecting him to be the sort to try to calm every down and get them to think about this rationally, but that certainly is a reaction, isn't it?]

I doubt yelling will get the Captain to change their mind.

[It's a statement without any emotion behind it. Sylvando's reaction is completely understandable, after all. Yelling at someone probably would make this a bit easier.]

[He just wanted to see if he could actually get something of value from the damn machine, but here's a fairy lady, ambushing him with stuff.]

It looks as though you've received quite a few things.

[That's... an impressive amount of stuff.]

You're certain you don't want any of it?

[...okay there's probably like, a ton of useless items in here, but surely there's at least one valuable thing, right??]

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R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

Arise

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Plumeria | Fire Emblem: Heroes

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