unknown_oosea | R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

Hello and welcome to the...

UNKNOWN SEAS R2
TEST DRIVE MEME

Glad to have you aboard! Gone are the musty old dark tones and anxieties of that creepy underwater facility from the first round - welcome to the lap of luxury on your very own Atlantic Cruise. And we mean your very own, too - there's nobody else aboard! Well, except for the Captain, who broke the news to you when you got up about what you have to do here.

The facilities are all top of the line, even if for some reason you just can't seem to get to the other floors of the ship just yet - there's a gym, a pool, a buffet- wait, scratch that, looks like you're on one of our liners lucky enough to have a tie-in deal with Jimmy Buffett himself, which means you get access to all you can eat at the on-board Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville's Jimmy Buffet!

So make the most of your time! Maybe even get a spooky souvenir from somewhere in the B̴͖̈́e̷̟̊̀ṛ̴̩̑̉m̴̺̪̈̈́u̵̧͛̇d̶̗̱̀̔a̸̧̙͗͝ ̶͖̖͑̚T̴̤͝r̷̩͘i̶̟͎͗̈́a̴͍͗̐n̵̥̆͝g̵̮̳͘l̷͔͑ḛ̸̹͒͗ while you're here.

1. Arise from the depths (of sleep)

Hey, you! You're finally awake! Welcome to your modest accommodations aboard... some kind of cruise ship? Look, there aren't exactly a lot of great accommodations offered aboard cruise ships, you get what you get. There's a bed, there's a little desk, there's a vase of flowers... and a beautiful view of the ocean outside your window!

Hope this isn't, like, wildly different and strange compared to where you just were! Oh, also the whole boat is all decked out for New Year's.

2. Room for all kinds of activities!

If you head out to the decks, or just walk around the ship, there's all kinds of things to see here while you wait for the bodies to start dropping! Feel free to make up whatever facilities you like, gyms or shuffleboard courts or even libraries - the Margaritaville buffet is canon, though. That's your canon food option. Hope you like shrimp!

3. Son of a son of a motive

Another Tuesday, another sealed envelope full of fun! Is this finally something worth killing for to get off this boat? Or is it just something stupid and/or embarrassing? Better ask around!

4. A good friend returns

On one of the decks, next to some regular beverage and food vending machines, is... an unmarked one? It only takes these weird coins that sometimes show up in your rooms at night. Sometimes it gives you things from back home! Sometimes it gives you? Little creepy wooden puppets??

5. Wasting away again in... well, a murder

Oh no! Someone is dead! Did you kill them? Are you trying to get the word out? Did you find the body and really need to calm down? Live your dreams, kill who you wanna kill offscreen!

6. Anything else!

There's all kinds of things you might be doing on a boat like this! Don't feel constrained by the options here - live your murderboat dreams!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Name: Cethlean | The Saint
Age: 1,000+| Species: Nabatean | Occupation: War Cleric
Likes: Making friends, forget-me-nots, fish
Dislikes: Overprotective meddlers, lies, excessive sleeping
Traits: Kind, enthusiastic, eager to learn
Trivia: She currently goes by the alias "Flayn" and is the only bearer of the Major Crest of Cethleann.

1 - I fear falling asleep at night...

[If you've emerged from your quarters, you might notice a door just down the hall groan as it opens slightly. You may not be close enough to spy the bright green eye that peeks out for a moment, but you sure can get closer as the occupant of that room leaves their door ajar.

On accident.

You can hear rustling, and the sound of soft things being tossed about, before the distinct swish of a curtain being pulled back-]

Oh my! That view...it is simply astounding!

[Sure sounds like a young lady exclaimed that without any thought to the caution she was taking earlier. Investigate?]

2 - I would happily eat this every day!

"Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville's Jimmy Buffet"...?

[Flayn quite sweetly pronounces both Buffett and Buffet as "buffet" as she looks over the selection of food with curiosity. There are delicious smells unlike anything she's ever experienced before, and while most food looks familiar, some of it does not. Still, nothing ventured nothing gained, right? She takes a plate and starts scrutinizing the offerings.]

The monastery would only have so many entrees available on one day, but this place has dozens...wait a moment, is all of this...

[Uh oh. Flayn found the seafood. There is...so much seafood here. And one of the offerings sure is a seafood cocktail goblet as big as Flayn's head that she is absolutely abandoning her plate to take. Is this allowed? Is this really allowed??]

3 - You have seen how I use a ladle! You know I'm good for it!

You do not need to make such things public knowledge!

[Whoa, is Flayn actually angry at this secrets motive? She tosses down the contents of her envelope in disgust, brow furrowed.]

I assure you, everyone back home is already aware I am a poor cook! There is no reason to rub salt in the wound!!

[Oh, that's. Barely anything big, honestly. But oh, there Flayn goes, stomping off with her fists balled up, red in the face. How embarrassing...]

4 - What...is this?

[You put a funny coin in, press a button, and suddenly you have an item! Flayn quite likes this machine, if only because she's gotten her favorite tea out of it, and thus it cannot do any wrong in her eyes. But hm, whatever she's got today sure isn't hers. Perhaps...is it yours? Better see if she's willing to give it back.]

5 - I already feel terrible enough. No need for harshness.

[She can't even tell whose body it is she's found. All Flayn knows is that there's blood - so much blood, blood enough to bring memories of old rushing to the forefront - and she has no magic with which to heal these wounds. There is a horrible trembling in her being, but still-]

Help! Someone! Anyone! There is - there is a body, someone has-!

[Her voice cracks, and tears prick her eyes, but Flayn does not collapse. She keeps calling out. Please, if she could only get some help, maybe they still have time...!]

6 - Wildcard

[Hit me with any potential murdergame scenarios I might've missed!]

[ Profile: Name: Risotto Nero | The Assassin
Age: 28 | Species: Human | Occupation: Capo
Likes: Carrying out a hit and being rewarded properly for it, his subordinates, family.
Dislikes: Broken promises, The Boss, losing his subordinates.
Traits: Calm, Perceptive, Cold
Trivia: Risotto once killed a drunk driver who was instrumental in the death of a dear cousin.

---

So it's begun, hasn't it?

Well, it's not like Risotto was bothered by the appearance of a dead body, for one reason or another. It was the circumstances that would prove troublesome to deal with. So perhaps when someone who arrived who's title in all of this known as 'The Assassin', it was the least comforting thing. But that's the first person who ended up arriving.

He'll look over at the green-haired young woman and then to the bloody body which now had a nice little pool of red liquid underneath. All he needed to do was glance at it to know one thing, and the man won't even bother to search for a pulse. Even if the dead person (who seemed to be a man by his build) was alive, they wouldn't be able to save him in time due to the blood loss. ]

Someone has died, you mean. We may as well prepare for what's to come.

[ Beat. ]

If you can't, you should leave.

Name: Mash Kyrielight | The Shield
Age: 17| Species: Demi-Servant | Occupation: Kouhai
Likes: Traveling, detective stories, Sempai
Dislikes: Fighting, being useless, isolation
Traits: Helpful, studious, brave
Trivia: Mash is a recognized member of the Knights of the Round Table.

»Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Dead People«
Oh.

[That is an absolutely beautiful view, but it's wrong. All wrong. Chaldea is a lot of things, but Mash is absolutely certain that it is in no way an ocean liner. That's practically the opposite of what it is.]

[That said, waking up in a strange place she has no business being in is not the most unusual thing to happen at Chaldea, even if it's new for her, personally.]

Excuse me. Do you remember boarding this ship?

[So step one, determine where and when exactly she is and, hopefully, the nature of this singularity.]

»Motive III: Motivate Harder«
This is-!

[Heavily classified information, which shouldn't be a surprise at this point. Her profile alone contained enough allegedly secret information -directly and by implication- to make it clear that their captors were privy to all kinds of things they shouldn't be.]

[But this, the details of their missions to restore human history, this could be outright dangerous if it were broadcast back home.]

Um. Totally inaccurate! Not that. Sempai isn't great in other ways! But this is, um, completely fabricated.

[She is very red and clearly flustered, but an attempt at secrecy in the face of the incentive has been made.]

»Have Not Ever Had A Friend In This Manner«
How did this fit in there?!

[Mash is in front of the unmarked vending machine, examining a shield that's quite literally as large as she is. It looks very heavy, like it could tank a direct hit from a nuke and come out unscathed. How it fit into the machine in front of her is a pretty legitimate question.]

[She's also clearly been putting a lot of coins into the machine, because in addition to the shield she's surrounded by piles of actual bones. They might not be human, but you probably don't want to examine them too closely.]

[Unless you do, no judgment here.]

»FATAL BATTLE«
Oh no.

[That sure is a lot of blood.]

[Edward Teach, The Shut-In, is dead.]

Who would have- ...who COULD have done this?

»Ten-Pull«
[The wildcard option, come at me.]

Edited 2020-12-11 02:42 (UTC)

It's okay, Miss Flayn! I'm sure your cooking is perfectly acceptable!

[oh thank god a ~~distraction~~ chance to help someone else with this]

[She's so upset, it's like. It's like the mastermind in charge of it all is just looking for an excuse to laugh at her in this dangerous and serious situation, it's insulting on top of everything else.]

Mash...while I appreciate your kindness, I cannot deny months of attempted cooking in the dining hall only to find that everyone has mysteriously disappeared when my food is ready...

[There's a pause, and a huff of breath before Flayn presses her mouth closed. She shakes her head once and scrubs at her eyes.]

...I can prepare myself just fine.

[But she wanted to believe there might be something left that they could do.]

Name: Lelouch vi Britannia | The Black Prince
Age: 17 | Species: Human | Occupation: Zero
Likes: His sister, chess, revolution, paper cranes
Dislikes: His father, the monarchy, obstinate people
Traits: Clever, calculating, compassionate
Trivia: Often answers to 'Lelouch Lamperouge'.

[i; welcome aboard]

[Stay calm. Whatever he did, he had to stay calm. The room was unfamiliar--a ship, but that was impossible. No one could possibly have knocked him out and kidnapped him, and even if they did, why leave him free to move and the door unlocked? Aside from that, who would even be able to manage that? Suzaku? Not a chance, he would have been far away. With...]

[Lelouch allowed that train of thought to taper off. It wasn't going to help. The priority right now was to get the hell out of what he was wearing at present--suit, cape, mask all hurriedly concealed under the bed. Far from ideal, but hopefully no one would go digging around until he could better hide it. Changing into an ordinary set of clothes, he took a deep breath and stepped outside wearing the look of a confused and concerned student. Hopefully this wasn't an enemy ship--then again, by the look of things it wasn't inhabited by soldiers. A civilian vessel?]

Excuse me-how far do we have to go until this ship reaches port? [An embarrassed laugh.] I must have fallen asleep or something and lost track of time.

[ii; welcome aboard]

[Obviously he'd been curious about the unmarked vending machine, and after producing a pile of assorted mystifying junk that Lelouch had stacked in a pile off to the side, it eventually spit out...a single black chess piece. He seemed to be turning it over in his hand, lost in some kind of contemplation.]

[iii; wildcard]

[i'm voicetesting be nice to me i WILL cry]

Edited (SCREAMS BECAUSE HTML IS MY KRYPTONITE) 2020-12-11 04:06 (UTC)

Name: Scorpia | The Spark
Age: 20's | Species: Scorpioni | Occupation: Force Captain
Likes: Hot cocoa, hugs, the Super Pal Trio
Dislikes: Salad, rudeness, rejection
Traits: Loyal, protective, inadvisably optimistic
Trivia: Scorpia is the princess of the kingdom currently known as the Fright Zone.

»Arise«
Ooh, nice!

[That's a heck of a view.]

...is this a mission? Did I sleep through a briefing? You're not in uniform, are we supposed to be undercover?

[She's a force captain, she should probably know these things.]

»So Many Activities«
How is there so much shrimp?

[She might be crying from joy a little. This is probably the best food she's ever had.]

[She is very definitely piling a plate full of little bits of everything.]

Do you think they'd care if I just, you know, took an entire one of these big trays back to the table?

»Wasting Away«
Ah. Hm.

[It's possible that Olivia Octavius, the Inquisitive, is just resting. In a very uncomfortable -physically impossible, really- position. But it doesn't seem likely.]

[Scorpia prods at the body a little with a claw tip, just to be safe.]

Come on doc, wakey wakey. ...Dang.

»Wildcard«
[You know what this is.]

Hey kiddo. Whatcha got there, something fun?

[Hello, dear god, what the hell.]

Uh-...nothing. Nothing, really--it's just a piece from a board game.

[ ...For a moment, he just stared at her, before he turned away from Flayn to look back at the body. Carefully, he knelt down beside the dead man. ]

Then make yourself useful. I'm sure you can make something of our immediate surroundings, while I'll handle the body.

[ Said with all the coldness of a man in his profession, but hey. ]

Oh. They didn't even try it?

[That's actually a little cruel. More than a little.]

Um. Still, that doesn't necessarily mean it's bad! Just that it's very very improbable that it's good!

[ Cid couldn't claim that he'd recall going onto a ship like this, and it was alarming for a variety of obvious reasons. It's making him wonder if he was the only one who couldn't remember such a thing.

But, here was a young lady asking him a question, and the right (and polite) thing to do was answer. Her asking it at all answered his own, unvoiced one, though. ]

...No, unfortunately.

I'm going to guess you don't happen to know anything about this ship? Since you asked me that question.

[Some people are giant buff bug ladies, it's fine.]

Oh, board-games could be fun! Break up the cruise a little. Think the rest of the pieces are in there?

[Sure, this might as well happen.]

It's possible, if inefficient. I don't know why it wouldn't just give me the whole set.

Name: John Constantine | The Magician
Age: 40 | Species: Human | Occupation: Occult Detective
Likes: Cigarettes, punk rock, a good Scotch
Dislikes: Demons, Manchester United, the word "moist"
Traits: Brash, Impulsive, Stubborn, Clever
Trivia: Constantine secretly sold his soul between three Lords of Hell in an attempt to save himself from eternal torment. The Lords realized that if Constantine died, they would have to go to war with each other. Unable to drag him to Hell and too proud to form alliances with each other, they reluctantly let him live.

i. [skyrim voice] hey, you. you're finally awake.

[This isn't the first time that Constantine has woken up in an unfamiliar place without remembering how he got there, although this time, there doesn't seem to be anyone to greet him or hold him hostage or lord over the fact that they've gotten him cornered. He rises from his bed, squinting at the surrounding furniture and trying to figure out what entity had kidnapped him this time.

Immediately, he realizes that something is wrong. A feeling of utter emptiness aches in his very core, and it's only a few moments until he realizes what's missing. He tests a simple spell--lighting a flame with his finger--muttering Latin phrases under his breath and snapping his fingers.

Nothing.

Once you've dabbled in the occult, your body feeds off that energy until it becomes a part of you, as essential as the blood in your veins or the fibers in your muscles. It's not like he can't manage without it--Lord knows that his quick thinking has saved him more than his magic ever has--but having such an innate part of him just gone like that is...harrowing, to say the least. More importantly, it points to an entity powerful enough to fuck with the very nature of magic, itself.]

Bloody hell.

[Constantine's hands wander his trench coat pockets for any sort of weapon or trinket, but his search turns up empty. His eyes dart to the decorations on the walls--gold and silver and black banners and tinsel interspersed with blocky letters that read "HAPPY NEW YEAR". Eventually, his gaze settles on a vase on the nearby desk and picks it up. With little regards for the flowers or the water inside, he dumps its contents onto the ground, cracks the vase against the desk, and carefully selects a shard of porcelain.

Better than nothing. He swings open the cabin door only to come face to face with another stranger in the hallway. His reaction instant, Constantine grips the shard and points it towards them.]

What're you doing, snooping around my cabin? [His voice comes out as a snarl.] Trying to give your boss a status update on ol' John, hm? If you could be as so polite to give me my magic back, I'll do you a favor of not gutting you.

ii. wastin' away again in margaritaville

[If you looked up the word "kitschy" in the dictionary, you'd find a picture of the cruise ship bar. Neon signs depicting palm trees, sunsets, and flamingos bathe the walls in technicolor warmth, wicker chairs and bar stools are scattered throughout the seating area, and several palm trees have been planted between spaces in the floorboards.

It is here that John Constantine finds himself nursing a margarita and a pack of cigarettes he's gotten from one of the vending machines. The soft crackle of acoustic Jimmy Buffett covers can be heard over the speakers. Despite this cheery decor, Constantine seems rather dour.]

Sick to death of stupid margaritas and Jimmy bloody Buffett. [He flicks a bit of ash onto a nearby ashtray.] Almost makes you wish for something to actually happen.

[Despite the harsh delivery, he doesn't seem to...actually mean it. He knows as well as anyone else that something happening means murder.]

iii. murder she wrote (cw: gore)

[It was only a matter of time before someone was killed, and that someone happened to be the unfortunate Ross Geller. The man's skull had been split in two, fragments of bone and clumps of brain and hair scattered across the previously spotless tiles. A shattered glass of what can only be assumed to be alcohol a few inches from his hand. Body right-side up, lying in an ever-growing pool of blood.

Constantine stands at the edge of the pool, his expression unreadable as he stares at the grotesque display. No matter how many times he sees this, it always ends up turning his stomach.]

Safe to say that nobody'll be missing him.

[He grimaces, stepping towards the body and kneeling down to inspect it further. After a moment or two, he glances sidelong at a nearby stranger.]

Well, don't just stand there. See if you can find anything that might've been used to bludgeon this bastard to death.

iv. wildcard

[come at me @ wolfnoir]

[When she hears him address her, Sara turns quickly from where she was rummaging through useless tourist brochures.]

You -- I mean, no, but! You know where we are?

Name: Valmont | Moneysniffer
Age: 36 | Species: Human | Occupation: Crime lord (barely)
Likes: Money, playing with magic for fun and profit
Dislikes: Demons, archaeologists, wearing dresses
Traits: Greedy, spiteful, stubborn
Trivia: Valmont once spent a day as a catboy.

a - arrival

[ It doesn't immediately faze Valmont that he doesn't recognize the room he wakes up in. He's come to in much, much weirder places, and this one seems a lot more pleasant than most. The flowers are a nice touch. And while he doesn't know exactly how he got here, he has a pretty good idea who's to blame for it: ]

Shendu, where on earth did you drag us to this -

[ Wait. There is no Shendu, not anymore. He recalls the demon's banishment from his body in detail - it was only a few days ago, and it's going to be excruciatingly difficult to forget the happy dance he performed immediately afterwards. Besides, for the first time in months he doesn't feel another presence in the back of his head, and when he throws the covers back (did he fall asleep in his suit?) and pokes his head into the bathroom to check, no ghostly draconic face overlays his own in the mirror.

He's alone.

Now's about the time he really starts to get worried. ]

b - activities

[ You know what? Being on a cruise ship is fine, actually. He doesn't care anymore.

All right, the lack of stated destination or ETA is slightly worrying, as is the fact that the ship appears to be entirely unstaffed, save the reclusive Captain. But the facilities are state-of-the-art, the water's beautiful, there's no law enforcement to worry about... All things considered, it beats the hell out of the fish cannery.

So catch him sunning himself on the deck (still in full suit mode, but if he really feels like letting loose, he might loosen his tie), or playing a round or two at the onboard casino (just try to catch him cheating), or oh my god, is that a buffet?!

Look, the guy's been living off instant noodles and tea for months - but even so, it's kind of worrying the gusto with which he's tearing into the food on his multiple piled-high plates. Slow down, dude. It'll still be there tomorrow. ]

c - motive

[ If no one dies this week, something terrible will happen to their loved ones, is that it? ]

A shame. Well, I do wish you all the best of luck with this one!

[ Pffft. He's actually laughing a little as he retrieves his envelope - loved ones are for suckers, come on. What poor saps could they have possibly -

And then he opens it, and his face drains. Oh. Those poor saps, apparently. ]

Oh, come on - you leave my employees out of this! Do you know how hard it is to find decent help these days?!

[ His words say "mildly perturbed". The poorly concealed distress on his face says otherwise. ]

d - vending machine

What in blazes am I supposed to do with this?

[ What is it? Who knows! Is it yours? Maybe! Either way, help a guy out and take it off his hands? ]

e - wild

[ Hit me up at

vethica! ]

[ Risotto had been taking good care to get more than a simple glance of his newfound surroundings. That included taking in every single detail and moving on when appropriate. He also wasn't keen to be surprised by anyone else, so he did so carefully.

It's a pity it hadn't prevented him from somehow being whisked away to all of...this.

Of course, it didn't mean he was able to avoid any disagreeable situations with any others. As indicated by now when he saw a cabin door swing wide open to reveal a blond-haired man pointing a shard in his direction. His lips pulled into a deeper frown at the words as he calculated whether he should try to disarm him or not.

Even if Risotto was now poised to strike, with things being unusual (such as being unable to activate his Stand) as they are, he wouldn't immediately resort to violence. For now. ]

Unfortunately for you, I can't give you anything.

[ This man seemed to insinuate that he was some kind of Stand user...or at least that's the conclusion Risotto had drawn due to him mentioning not having his 'magic' with him. ]

I believe we're in the same predicament, and so trying to attack me with that would be a fool's errand. [ Pause. ] And I've no idea where we are. I propose we cooperate until we have a better understanding of the situation.

[ Cid wasn't excited about opening the envelope he had; why would he? He could see that the others were...not looking all that pleased.

Including this white-haired man nearby him. For the moment, he'll leave glancing at who had been threatened on his behalf; maybe it was someone from his family or it was Rygdea or—

Well. That's why he wouldn't be looking at what's inside the envelope right now. ]

...It seems the Captain is really intent on forcing our hands this time. [ ... ] It's likely we won't have to worry about our friends or loved ones.

[ He's insinuating he's sure someone will act, but he didn't look all that happy about it. It's a grim kind of reassurance. ]

Edited 2020-12-11 05:14 (UTC)

Huh. That is pretty weird. Maybe collecting the whole thing is supposed to be some kind of game on its own?

[Scorpia pokes at the body a little bit, confirming that yup, he's definitely dead.]

Aw, I thought he was kind of funny.

[Which I'm never going to get used to not calling Soukou no Strain, but it works out to the same thing anyway.]

Name: Sara Werec | Armoured
Age: 17 | Occupation: Reasoner cadet
Height 5'2 | Weight: 107 lbs
Trivia: Ever heard of the Cartwright curse?
Likes: Dolls, ballroom dancing, particularly persistent would-be friends
Dislikes: War crimes, loss, dumpster diving

[1]

[As you explore your surroundings, you'll find a small teenage girl opening drawers, searching on the ground, trying every door, searching for something. She might even run into you or almost knock you over, barely managing a "sorry" before she gets back to her search.]

Where are we? Where are you? Emily!

[2]

[After all has been explained, she's rather more subdued, still radiating an aura of worry. She picks at her Margaritaville crab dip, maybe because she's still worried... but also maybe because this restaurant clearly prizes drink quantity over food quality.]

...

[Seriously, her face is turning pale. Is she okay?]

[3]

[The motive announcement saw fit to "remind you all of your unfinished business." When Sara opens her envelope, the photo shows an... unfriendly-looking man carrying away a little girl. She stares at it for a while.]

...Would I even be able to do anything about it now?

Edited 2020-12-11 05:44 (UTC)

[Is it her, or has Sara been giving her weird looks like she's confused this whole time? Then again, she's usually just linefacing instead, maybe it's better this way. Sara blinks a few times and shrugs.]

We've been kidnapped. You could say they owe it to us.

[The "this" in question appears to be a poster for one Magi☆Mari, some kind of pop idol from Japan. Really, Valmont should appreciate it, her hair is as white as his.]

Mister Valmont? What is that?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 21

R2 TDM - boys in the band order boat memes

Flayn | Fire Emblem: Three Houses | OTA

5

Mash Kyrielight | Fate Grand Order

3

no subject

no subject

Lelouch Lamperouge | Code Geass

Scorpia | She-Ra

ii

no subject

no subject

no subject

Wakey wakey;

no subject

no subject

john constantine | vertigo/dc comics

i

Valmont | Jackie Chan Adventures

i.

motive;

no subject

iii

Sara Werec | Strain: Strategic Armoured Infantry

shrimp

Vending Machine Woes